When people hear the word “cancer,” they often think about the patient’s treatment, hospital visits, medications, and medical procedures.
But there is another side of cancer that is rarely discussed — the emotional and physical journey of the family member who stands beside the patient every day.
I am writing this not as a medical professional, but as a husband who has been walking through this difficult journey with my wife.
The Change After Treatment
Before her recent surgery, my wife’s weight was around 57 kg.
After the surgery and recovery period, her weight dropped by about 10 kg. She is now around 47 kg.
The number on the scale is not just a number. It represents the loss of strength, appetite, energy, and sometimes even hope.
One of the hardest things to watch is her relationship with food.
There are days when she can only eat a small piece of fruit or a few spoonfuls of porridge.
I try different things. Sometimes she drinks about 150 ml of milk with a small amount of protein supplement.
I encourage her gently because I know her body needs nutrition to recover.
But even when she tells me she wants to eat something, the reality is often different.
We go outside hoping she can enjoy a meal. However, after smelling the food, she may say:
“It smells strange.”
“It is too salty.”
“It is too spicy.”
And then she cannot eat.
As a caregiver, these moments are painful because I can see her trying, but her body does not cooperate.
The Emotional Changes
Another difficult change has been her mood.
Over the past few months, she has become much more easily irritated.
Small things that never bothered her before can suddenly become frustrating.
At first, I tried to understand it as part of the illness and the stress of treatment.
But as time passed, I realized something else:
The caregiver also becomes exhausted.
I started noticing that I was becoming more easily irritated too.
Sometimes I feel guilty because I know she is the one fighting the disease.
But living with constant worry, uncertainty, and emotional pressure also affects the person standing beside the patient.
The Invisible Burden of Caregivers
Many cancer caregivers experience something people do not always see.
You are always watching.
You are always listening.
You are always thinking:
“Is she getting worse?”
“Should I call the doctor?”
“Should I take her to the hospital?”
“What if something happens when I am not there?”
Even taking a short break outside can feel difficult because part of your mind is always at home.
You want to rest, but you also feel responsible.
You want to stay strong, but you are also human.
A Lesson I Have Learned
Before this experience, I never fully understood how difficult the caregiver’s role could be.
Cancer is not only a disease that affects one person.
It affects the entire family.
The patient suffers physically, but the caregiver often carries invisible emotional pain.
I also learned that changes in behavior, appetite, memory, dizziness, or unusual symptoms should never be ignored.
Looking back, I often wonder if some earlier signs could have led to earlier investigation.
Of course, medical decisions are complicated, and every situation is different.
But if someone experiences unusual symptoms that do not feel normal, especially with unexplained changes, it may be worth discussing a more complete medical evaluation with healthcare professionals.
Sharing This Journey
I am writing this because I hope our experience can help someone else.
Not because we have all the answers.
Not because our journey is the same as everyone else’s.
But because sometimes knowing that another family has gone through something similar can make someone feel less alone.
For patients fighting cancer and for families supporting them:
You are both fighting a battle.
And both deserve care, understanding, and support.
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